Hijinks and Sarcasm
by Argonometra
Summary: Gray Wing realises that the downside of travelling in a group with a lot of she-cats and only a few toms is...you have to travel in a group with a lot of she-cats. A oneshot harem fic about our favourite protagonist we haven't read about yet! Nothing sexually explicit, but definitely suggestive. Contains trolling; written before the release of DOTC.


In retrospect, it had begun with the looks. They had seemed innocent at the time- especially Turtle Tail's genuine, radiant smiles whenever he complimented her, and Bright Stream's glances of grateful appreciation whenever he mediated an argument between her and Clear Sky. Those could be perfectly normal, and Gray Wing had thought they were at the time.

Then there were…more suggestive shows of affection, like the gestures Tall Shadow made to him when she thought no one else was looking- and sometimes even when they were. She would brush her tail along his spine, talking in a husky kind of growl that made Gray tense and his fur stand on end- though he could never figure out why. He wasn't afraid of her, he knew that much.

And after _that,_ one day, when the group was resting (they were travelling through an especially rough patch of ground), Rainswept Flower had padded up out of nowhere and asked to share tongues with him.

He had said yes, of course. What else could he do?

And sure, maybe Flower was the target of a few irritated hisses and poisonous glares the day after, but he had just attributed that to the exhaustion of the journey and the lack of prey. Besides, he had been too busy trying to soothe Turtle's annoyance with him to pay much attention to the other she-cats.

He had _not_ been oblivious. That was what Gray Wing was desperately trying to convince himself, anyway- because what idiot tom would fail to notice four cats padding after him? How stupid would a cat have to be not to understand when his own brother's mate (well, almost-mate, anyway) wanted to have his kits? He didn't want to answer those questions, but –ever since Turtle had arranged this little meeting- it was becoming increasingly clear that he didn't have a choice.

The she-cats in question had found a secluded clearing to inform Gray Wing of their decision; both he and they now sat in its center.

Dappled Pelt, who was sitting at the grove's edge, cast a look at him and snickered. She'd been doing that all evening; Gray Wing had no doubt that she knew the whole story- and that the other cats would know it by dawn. At this rate, he wouldn't be surprised if it got back to the mountain clan.

Anyway, Dappled Pelt was the only she-cat who knew of this madness- the only cat who didn't have a part in it, at any rate. She had made it quite clear to Gray that she was only here because it was so 'amusing.'

Yes. That was the word he'd use to describe this little gathering. Amusing.

"Gray!" Stream shouted, bringing the tom out of his vengeful reverie. "Yes or no?"

"We shouldn't pressure him," Turtle said anxiously. "It's a big thing to accept; we can't expect him to believe in it immediately."

Stream lashed her tail impatiently, but then settled down and curled it around her paws. She and Flower looked at Gray appealingly, deliberately trying to erode his logic. Shadow herself stood up and began to twine herself around him, rubbing her intoxicating scent into his fur.

"So, Gray, what's your decision? Wouldn't you _like_ having all of us as mates? Won't you even let us _try?_"

It was becoming increasingly difficult to maintain any mental coherency, and Gray Wing didn't even want to think about what would happen to the group if he rejected this. But what would Clear Sky think of him? What would he think of himself? Gray sent a silent prayer to the starry sky above.

_Ancestors, help me…_

"Fine," he mumbled, against Shadow's soft fur. He stood up and faced the she-cats. "I'm not promising it'll work, but I'll try. We'll find out together."  
-

Well. _The Sun Trail_ hasn't even been released yet, and it's already had a harem fic written for it. I think that's a record of some kind. Anyway, I decided to write this after I read the HarperCollins book preview and realised that, A: I think Clear Sky's a jackass, and B: Gray Wing is awesome. Check the preview out, all of you; it's pretty cool. (Incidentally, my condolences to you, future _Trail_ readers, for what happens in it around page 111. Damn, they write character deaths well...if it is really death in this case, and the character doesn't come back.)

Anyway, I haven't uploaded stories to this website in years- I might start doing it again, as I'm better at completing stuff I write now. I would like to reiterate that this is a comedy fic; bashing of it or me will be ignored. Feel free to leave reviews, but don't ask me to continue this story: I'm not good enough at writing comedy, and the premise of it is crazy enough that drama would fall flat. Thanks for reading!


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